The Ghost of Smokey?

I was enjoying a long, leisurely bike ride this morning and taking in all the beautiful fall scenery in my neighborhood, when I turned a corner, and saw something that made me stop in my tracks.

No, it wasn't (really) a ghost. But it was pretty darned close.

Sitting in the driveway of someone's house was a cat that looked so much like my Smokey (who died in July), that I simply couldn't just keep going past it. I had to stop and take a closer look.

At first it looked as if he was afraid and was going to run - but then he just sat down where he was and stared back at me. He was the same size and the exact color as Smokey, with the same ultra plush, dense fur... he had the same beautiful green eyes, and even his nose, ears, whiskers and paws looked like Smokey. He seemed to sense my grief- as momentarily I had forgotten that Smokey is no longer with us - and then tears filled my eyes as I realized it afresh.

I didn't know if he understood me or not, but I told him not to be afraid - I wasn't going to hurt him or take him from his home. I just wanted to look at him for a few moments because he looked "just like my kitty who died - and I miss him so much!" It seemed as if he understood somehow what I was saying...or at least he understood my sorrow. There was only one difference between him and Smokey - aside from the obvious one that he is still alive - and that is that he (unlike Smokey) has a bob tail.

I found myself wondering if I'm the only one this has happened to. I had gone from complete joy for the first few seconds after I saw him - as though I had forgotten instantly that Smokey died -

then to the most complete grief as I realized again that it wasn't really Smokey, but someone else's animal that was staring back at me so knowingly.

The rest of my day was shot as a new cloud of grief hung over me again. Old wounds reopened and now I find myself trying to 'get over it' again. I am thankful for every day I had with him - but I still yearn to pick him up and hold him one more time and to once again wake up with him hogging my pillow - then marching to the kitchen (turning & looking over his shoulder to make sure I was following) for his food. Will this ever end?

More on the loss of a pet

If you have lost a pet, it helps to know that there are others who have suffered the same loss and know your pain from experience. Even other pets in the house are affected

when one of their feline friends dies.

A grieving cat may refuse to eat, refuse to stay in the house,

pace back and forth, and become more vocal as they try to understand and cope with the sudden disappearance of their friend.

The best thing for a cat that is grieving the loss of a feline (or human) friend is to give it lots of love and affection. It helps

to understand that just as it takes humans weeks, months or even years to get over the death of someone dear to us, cats can grieve for weeks or months as well.

Also, don't be in a rush to introduce a new cat into the home. The grieving cat needs time to adjust to the absence of its friend and this is important. Give your cat lots of attention and be patient if it misbehaves. Meanwhile, if you notice extreme personality changes or a continuing refusal to eat, contact your vet for assistance and to rule out the possibility of illness.

For more on this subject, you might want to check out these links:

How the death of a pet affects other pets in the home & understanding the grieving cat:

http://www.messybeast.com/cat-grief.htm

If you are currently dealing with the imminent or recent death of a pet:

http://www.chancesspot.org/hotlines.htm

For help coping with the death of your pet:

http://www.hsus.org/pets/pet_care/coping_with_the_death_of_your_pet/

To create a memorial online for your pet:

http://www.ilovedmypet.com/