Concern & Help for those Grieving the loss of a pet

If it seems that I am stuck on this topic, it's because I know of so many people (besides myself and several very close friends) who are in terrible emotional turmoil right now because of the recent or soon-to-be loss of a pet that has become very dear to them. It started with my own cat that I'd had for 8 years and who had become one of the family from the time we had adopted him, and who died of kidney failure in July.

The photo on the right is my photo of Smokey taken just a few days before he became ill and was taken for his final visit to the vet. Although it's been a few months now, it still hurts as if it were yesterday. And since his death, it seems there is a sudden onslaught of severe illnesses and deaths in cats - it seems everywhere I turn, I am meeting someone else who has recently lost, or is losing their cat to some serious condition like cancer.

Several neighbors (in fact, neighbors on both sides of me) also are currently mourning cats that they have long-term bonds with, which have serious medical conditions. One elderly neighbor's cat has a brain tumor - and until a recent hospital visit was having seizures 3 times a day. After spending almost $400.00 just to get the kitty (previously feral) the emergency care it needed, he was told that the cat needed a CT scan. This was impossible for my elderly neighbor who lives on social security and was told the CT scan alone would cost over $2,000.00. The vet also informed him that the CT scan would not do anything for the animal except to confirm the presence of a brain tumor and the need to euthanize her. My neighbor lives alone - he has no children, having never married, and no family. His cats are his only family, so what may have been an easy decision for anyone else is heart wrenching for him and for me... as I watch him struggle to keep her comfortable and prolong her life for as long as he can on his limited income.

The neighbor on the other side of me was concerned that her cat of 13 years suddenly started losing weight. The vet diagnosed him with what she wasn't sure was either lymphoma or leukemia. In either case, my neighbor and close friend was told her pet has less than 2 months to live. This is extremely difficult for me as close friends with both of these neighbors - especially since I am still hurting from the loss of my own sweetie, Smokey. Part of the reason my friends' cats impending deaths is so difficult to bear (besides knowing how helpless it makes us all feel), and how it will impact my neighbors, is that Smokey was friends with both of them.

And I know how it will affect Buttercup, a Maine Coon which had been abandoned here in our neighborhood a couple of years ago, which I and my neighbors came to love deeply. Buttercup has been grieving the death of Smokey since July, and still isn't over it. She still looks for him.

For weeks after his death, she sat at the front door, waiting for him when I would call her. Before he died, they did everything together. If I called him in, she came with him. If she showed up first, she would sit and wait for him. She continued this behavior, and still does it.

Being that Buttercup, Smokey, and Skittles (the neighbor's cat who has less than 2 months to live) were all close friends, I fear for Buttercup when Skittles also passes in the next couple of months- especially since she still grieves Smokey, and 'visits' his grave in our back yard. It is very difficult for me to know how to comfort my friends when the inevitable happens to their cats also. And my heart breaks for Buttercup who will not yet be recovered from losing her close friend, Smokey when I know she is about to lose Skittles also.

I also am so grieved on behalf of friends of mine, both in my personal life and online friends from Youpet.com who have lost their cats and are struggling to get through each new day without the comforting habits and love of their babies.

What makes matters worse during these times is when people minimize the pain saying "it's just an animal!"

No one who has ever lived for any length of time with a cat (especially a highly intelligent one) can ever think of a cat as "just an animal" again. Cats are loving, loyal, and sensitive to the emotions of their owners- so when they become seriously ill, their pet 'parents' are just as impacted as the mother of a child would be.

If there is someone you know who is going through a crisis right now with their cat, what can you do? Mainly be sensitive! Realize that 'just a cat' to you, is like saying "it's just a child" to anyone else.